Crossroads by PotterMama

Rating: G
Genres: Angst, Romance
Relationships: Harry & Hermione
Book: Harry & Hermione, Books 1 - 5
Published: 09/02/2005
Last Updated: 09/02/2005
Status: Completed

I’m standing here at a crossroad, I have a choice A road less traveled Or the road where no one
dares enter. Which way should I go?




1. untitled
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**Title :** Crossroads

**DISCLAIMER:** This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK
Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books and Scholastic Books, and
Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is
intended.

**Author notes:** I have written Ginny’s and Ron’s points-of-view. Here’s my take from
Hermione’s side. A companion to “Lead Her To Me”.

=====================

I’m standing here at a crossroad

*I have a choice*

*A road less traveled*

*Or the road where no one dares enter*

*Which way should I go?*

******

“Hermione, my dear,” Ron said. There it was again the perfunctory morning kiss and swift hug
before we go to our breakfast at the Great Hall.

“Good morning, Ron” I replied. Have we really come down to this, to the complacent courtesy that
we never have dreamt of coming into? “Good morning to you too,” I turned to Harry, and he just had
this knowing and pained grin plastered on his face. How many times have we shared those pained
looks after Ron and I shared a little affection, if you can call it that?

It has been eight months, two weeks, and four days since Ron and I have finally got together and
told Harry about it. He was so happy for us, ecstatic that the rows will at last be over, which for
him is getting quite old. A few weeks later, Harry too found his match in Ginny’s overzealous
personality. Well, Ron said he needs someone cheerful, and I couldn’t agree more.

We became the chirpy couples facing dangerous times. Nothing can perturb us, not a single thing
can break through the barrier that has enveloped us against the malice creeping in our world. But
no one has noticed this silent storm looming from within. I felt it, we all did, I know. I sensed
it easily, slowly gnawing our very core but I chose to ignore it.

Call it unconscious rebellion, wanting to defy the odds, or our bid to assert ourselves. We are
all the same, afraid to face the truth.

“Hermione,” a faint voice intruded my silent soliloquy. “Are you all right?” Harry asked.

“I’m fine, thank you” I turned towards Ron, “Uhm, Ron, we need to – ”

“Talk,” yes he finished it for me. “I know. We’ll do it when the classes are over.” Ron stood
up, looked at me knowingly and smiled. He can finish my sentences; we really belong together.
However, what was that smile all about?

******

I found love. But why are there times I can’t breathe freely? Ron knows there is something
wrong, and I can sense that he knows there is something wrong. He has figured it all out, why
haven’t I? Someone else controls my very soul. He felt that presence… that presence of another. I
can’t… I won’t accept it.

I know I am losing Ron, I can feel our love fading. He took my belief in love and handed them
back to me broken, saying he can’t hold onto them anymore. Is this the end of it all?

How could he say I am sorry, when you know that sorry can never be enough? It is damn near
impossible to bring things back the way they used to be. Still there are those who wish for them
anyway. But the real question is, do I?

Some goodbyes are final, and this is one of them. Then I heard *that* sound… the sound of
my heart breaking. The resonance is deafening, ringing to my ears, pounding on my chest. I left. I
closed the door of the Room of Requirement and left Ron in there. I walked. The dam… it is about to
break. My pace quickened. There it is… that other sound, the pieces… the pieces are beginning to
crumble.

Hot tears... Quick... Be quick. One step, two steps, three steps. I began to run. I am running,
running like I have never ran before. I don’t care where I am going. I just need to get out. Get
out of this place. Then I passed him by, “Hermione!” Harry called. I didn’t bother to look… I can’t
be bothered to look.

It is raining. Is it outside the castle or in my head? I don’t care. I ran and ran. I feel like
a thousand rampaging hippogriffs are at my heels. I only stopped when I reached the edge of the
Forbidden Forest. Only then did I felt the hard rain falling on my face. It is indeed raining.

Then I cried. I am crying and unaware of it. I cried out all the sadness trapped inside of me. I
don’t care if anyone finds me here. I just cried, because the rain will drown my tears. I will
howl, for all I care, because the wind will just blow them away. The coldness I can’t feel, because
I am much colder inside.

Nothing matters right now. There is only the anger, the sadness and the confusion clouding my
heart. Then that voice, “Hermione, what’s happening?” Harry soaked to the bones as I am. Is he
always just a few steps behind? I don’t know, I never looked back. Can he see my tears? No, he
can’t. Did he hear my cry? I don’t care, it doesn’t matter anymore. Nevertheless, he hugged me. He
hugged me to give all the warmth I need.

“What’s wrong?” he asked me again.

“Just hold me, Harry. Just hold me.”

Only then did I realize, out there in the pouring rain, clinging desperately to a friend. I
found love, and lost it. All the ambiguities, all the complexities, all the pain of not knowing
what went wrong, are finally over. Despite of everything, I found home at last.

I can have a life again.

******

*Here I am at another crossroad*

*Should I take the road up ahead*

*Or take the winding road*

*Give me time*

*Time to think*

*Help me*

*Help me find my way.*

=====================

*fin*



